I am running a number of sessions at the moment on the theme of Emotional Intelligence in the Era of AI. One topic that comes up again and again in group discussions is active listening as a key way to tune in, understand and build relationships.
Awareness of the importance of “active listening” can be quite high – we may even know and be aware of some good techniques. But how often do we actually and genuinely use it?
We’ve all been there: nodding along in a conversation, half-thinking about what we’ll say next, or even drifting off into our to-do list. It feels like we’re listening. We may even be quite present, but not consistently. Genuine active listening goes far deeper—it’s about presence, connection, and understanding. And it’s a skill that, once developed, transforms not only our relationships but also our ability to learn, collaborate, and lead.
Listening vs. Active Listening
Listening in the everyday sense actually does often mean being quiet until it’s our turn to contribute. Active listening, however, is about tuning in fully—hearing words, noticing tone, paying attention to body language, and trying to grasp the meaning behind what’s being said. We may not necessarily do this in everyday conversations but we do need to do it more where it really matters.
When we actively listen, we’re not preparing our response or mentally judging. We’re creating space for the other person to feel heard. That space is powerful: it builds trust, deepens empathy, and reduces misunderstandings.
Why Active Listening Matters
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It strengthens relationships. People feel valued when they know they’ve been genuinely heard.
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It sharpens problem-solving. By truly understanding someone’s perspective, we open up new insights and solutions.
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It reduces conflict. Misunderstandings often come from half-listening or assumptions. Active listening helps us pause and clarify.
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It makes you memorable. In professional settings, colleagues and clients remember how you made them feel as much as what you said.
I am currently running courses on the power of Emotional Intelligence in the Era of AI – these are run with global law firms. Timely and insightful sessions on why strengthening human skills is more vital than ever as AI becomes increasingly integrated into the legal sector in the new digital era.
I also work on the US media publishing platform O’Reilly delivering the same course to hundreds of professionals world-wide.
Doing the best at your job isn’t just about working harder — it’s also about connecting better, says psychologist Alyssa Birnbaum. She shares practical, research-backed tips for strengthening relationships with your coworkers (whether you’re together in person or working remotely) in order to boost engagement, fight burnout and make work better for everyone. Active listening and presence are key.
How to practice active listening
Here are some practical ways to shift from passive to active listening and you can hone these skills in any situation and experience an immediate impact:
Be present. Put away distractions, make eye contact, and focus on the speaker.
Reflect back. Try paraphrasing what you’ve heard: “So what you’re saying is…” This confirms understanding.
Hold the silence. Resist the urge to jump in. Pausing shows you’re considering their words fully.
Ask open questions. “Can you tell me more about that?” invites deeper sharing.
Notice what’s unspoken. Tone of voice, hesitations, or body language often tell a richer story.
A simple experiment to try
Next time you’re in conversation, try this:
Choose one person today—a colleague, friend, or family member—and commit to listening actively. No interruptions, no planning your reply, just genuine attention. Afterwards, reflect: how did it change the quality of the exchange?
More than a skill—a mindset – active listening isn’t just a technique; it’s a mindset of curiosity and respect. It means valuing the other person’s perspective as much as your own. In a world where everyone is eager to be heard, becoming a great listener is a quiet superpower. And in the era of AI, your unique ability to make connections with others is crucial.
