The bookshelves are stacked with the latest self-help books; ways to a new you and opportunities to re-set abound. Although these can be helpful and we often start a new year and January with that desire and will to transform, the reality is very different.
You see, there are no shortcuts to navigating change or when pivotal events happen around you. What I have learned is that the only way to transformation is to move through the hardship and pain. Sure, we can numb that pain – with unhealthy choices like alcohol or comfort eating and even with healthy ones like hard exercise and feeling driven to succeed or achieve. But unless we can find a way through, we miss the opportunity for true transformation and growth.
Change is an inevitable part of life. Whether it comes as a subtle shift or a seismic upheaval, the one certainty is that change will find its way to us. Yet, many of us instinctively look for shortcuts—ways to bypass discomfort, fast-track the process, and emerge unscathed on the other side. But here’s the truth: there is simply no shortcut to navigating change. The only way through it is through it. And while that may sound daunting, it’s also where growth, resilience, and transformation are born.
When faced with change, it’s natural to crave the quickest way out of uncertainty. We’re wired to seek stability and avoid pain, so we grasp at solutions that promise immediate relief. This is where the self-help books come in, “10-step” guides, and “hacks” marketed to help us “overcome” change. While some tools and strategies can be helpful, they often miss the core truth: navigating change requires more than surface-level fixes. It demands that we sit with discomfort, confront our fears, and engage in deep self-reflection.
Those things have been key for me over the past year or so as I’ve dealt with huge curveballs in my life – literally things that have completely thrown me. But I have also learned to navigate this path with intention and grace.

My pathway with no shortcuts includes:
1. Acknowledging my emotions
It has felt like a rollercoaster at times and I’ve allowed myself to feel all of it. Surpressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear; it only delays their impact. Taking long walks, talking , journaling and sitting with the discomfort of often absolutely horrid feelings of dread and negativity has helped me acknowledge and process all of the emotion.
2. Focusing on what I can control
Once I’ve been able to calm my nervous system and process emotion, I’ve been better able to decide how I want to respond. Often that has been to drive energy into my work, in which I find great purpose and meaning, or it’s been to do something small like cook nutritious foods or do something practical like fundraise for Myeloma UK.
3. Seeking support
This has been huge for me as I’ve always been a pretty independent soul. I have found so much unexpected support from friends and work colleagues. I’ve learned to reach out and ask for that support or a listening ear. Connecting with others has been and continues to be a powerful anchor for me.
4. Embracing a growth mindset
Over time. I’ve been able to also ask myself: What can I learn from this experience? How might this challenge help me grow? What can I take from this and how do I want to live life going forward?
5. Self-compassion and patience
Change is rarely a linear process. There have been and will be setbacks, detours, and moments of doubt. I’ve had to give myself permission to move at my own pace and to make mistakes along the way.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance”
Alan Watts
